That you could become your own demise

But that I was the exception

That it could never happen to me

That every man was in control of himself

That I could end end my own life, and in that act know that I was exceptional

This is who I decided to be back then

This is the price I want to pay

Deciding what you want may be more about accepting the price you are willing to pay it seems

It’s the easiest thing I’ve every thought of

Like it must have not been exceptional or unique

Just some sort of basic firmware given to me by the men before me

The future isn’t scary they say

it is

and I’m happy its that way

Fear is the only thing I’ve ever found purpose in

idk but I think that’s why I’m sitting here right now

Because I know that there’s something wrong

Nobody tells you about the part where your mind knows better then you and you choose not to listen

In a flash of a second you think to run but then think no no no no no and all this rationalized trash based on things your brain learned but didn’t inherent overcomes everything

what a complete mistake

what a fool you are to wanna be nice to people who don’t deserve it by being nice to show them that you deserve to be treated nice too